New Years Post

The new year is quickly approaching and I am realizing that I have not posted in a long time. I don't know if anyone is checking this anymore, but just in case... I have been done with radiation for almost 3 months now. Recovery is not as easy as it sounds, at least for me. I was thinking that it would just happen. The truth is that waiting for something to happen is a heck of a lot harder than fighting for things to change. While in treatment, I knew that I was actively pursuing my health. It felt good, as I have always enjoyed a good fight. Now that it is time to recover, I feel oddly uneasy. Some would say I have no patience, and they would be right. I am so ready to feel good again that it is really very difficult to wait. You may be wondering what exactly it is that is taking time. Well, here goes. I will try to get the point across without my doomsday attitude coming through too much. I have an inflammation of the lining of my lungs from the radiation called radiation pneumonitis. Don't go looking it up online or you will freak yourself and everyone else out. Basically, the upper portion of my lungs has been damaged and we don't know yet if it will reverse itself or not. For now, I am short of breath after not much exertion. Doing lite housework for 15 minutes wears me out about as much as 45 minutes(going hard) on a cardio machine at the gym used to. Which is actually a big improvement from 2 1/2 months ago when pushing an empty cart through the supermarket was actually more than I could do. So, more tests to come in February, but dealing with the possibility/probability that some lung function is probably not coming back. Also, the doc is fairly certain that the radiation has killed off my thyroid. Yes, I know this is something that can be treated quite easily with medication. Radiation is just the gift that keeps on giving. We are waiting for my thyroid to shrivel up and completely die off, then begin treating that. So, I am still tired, I am still cold all the time and just generally not feeling great like I had hoped for by now. I know that I will improve, I am just very anxious. January 3 marks one year from the day that the lump was discovered. This next year is going to be a year of growth and recovery. I wish the same for all of you.