Another treatment under my belt, can't say it is getting any easier. I am logical enough to know that I have to go to get better, but it is getting harder and harder to actually show up for chemo. I talked to the doc yesterday and he did suggest taking a Valium right when I wake up on Monday mornings. I guess this is about the time that most patients seem to get a little anxiety-ridden. Good to know I am not alone! Blood tests are good, what they expect apparently. I have a PET scan next Thursday the 31st in Billings. My treatment after that will be on June 5, which is another Tuesday. At that apt. I will find out the results of the scan. I believe at that time we will decide whether treatment goes on an extra 2 months or if I am done the end of July. I am bracing myself for the longer treatment, knowing how crappy I will feel by the end of it. I just want the cancer to be dead and gone. I think it is really sinking in lately that I am sick. I am trying to keep my spirits up, and it is a whole lot easier on the off weeks. The weeks I feel good I try to cram all the life in that I can. Speaking of cramming life in, Puerto Rico was really amazing. Although Summer has never been my favorite time of year, I can see living a Tropical life. I guess I have never been somewhere hot with an ocean before. It was just what we needed.
Summer is here and things are getting very busy. How will I ever have time for Dr. visits? We are off to Dubois, WY this weekend for 2 nights. It will be fun to get the kids out of town. I should start feeling better by Friday so all will be good for the weekend I am sure. Clint is doing a great job of taking care of me and the boys and the business. I know that it is really hard on him to see me having such a hard time. I feel like a manic-depressive person. I have these great weeks where my life is what I have been thinking it should be like for years, then these weeks where running to Wal-Mart to get a gallon of milk is more than enough to wear me out. It sucks, cancer just sucks. But, if any of you out there get it or get sick in any way, I swear to you that I will try to be as wonderful to you as you have been to me. I have amazing people in my life and I feel very lucky. And to those of you who made my house sparkle while we were gone, thank you. I didn't know how great it would be to come home to a clean house.
Until next time...
4 comments:
Okay darlin', I'm going to drop off a bottle of 50spf and you can just work on that tan during your crappy weeks! Make this all work for you. :) Lay out on a chaise lounge for HOURS under the sun. Big ol' glass of iced tea.... ah... :)
Hopefully no one else will be sick as there isn't any way to live up to how strong you have been. You are inspiring. Be strong. liveSTRONG.
Hi Liz, glad to hear that Puerto Rico was therapeutic! You have an awesome house and a beautiful family. Send the boys our way if you need a break -- chuck can keep them busy for awhile. Becca
Liz- you are living a science fiction life right now with your body invaded by enemy aliens and the only way to route them is by poisoning them. Only it isn't a movie or a book but your life and that is scary. To be depressed and anxious is very appropriate. Let those who love you and want to help carry you whenever possible. We cannot make it go away but we love you and pray for you.
Just wanted you to know how great I think you are. You have an amazing spirit, and even on your crappy days, you seem to be pulling through okay. I think you should give yourself a big pat on the back.
We love ya darling.
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